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Studies Show: 95% of fish your buddy lost are State Records

"It was massive"

John Phillips of Clatskanie Oregon swears the Chinook Salmon he lost down in Astoria was all of 75+lbs.

"We never saw it come up but the head-shakes alone were enough. It was no doubt over 75lbs, probably 95lbs though if I were a betting man."

Anglers fishing in a nearby boat questioned his assessment of the fish:

"I'm pretty sure the guy was snagged on the bottom," said Michael Williams of Woodland Washington, but John P had a comment in response: "He's just a hater."

Scientists studying data at the Brookings Institute show that 95% of fish that got away are possible state records. Studies are based on anecdotal records of fish that got away, proving that most state records are lost before ever seeing the fish.

giant sturgeon cabelas

Article writer Lucas Holmgren swears that the Crappie he lost recently was easily as big as this sturgeon featured in Cabela's.

(This article is Satire and intended for comedic uses only)